My Dog, The Jerk

Hi, I'm Corey, and this is my roommate, Joel. Say hi, Joel. Hi. I have a dog, Pickle, a 3 year old Shiba Inu. For the past 3 years, I've been struggling with Pickle's various (and numerous) quirks - basically, he's an undersocialized, panophobic spaz with ADD, OCD and ED (he's neutered, after all). The ladies love him because he's perhaps the least threatening dog ever. Guys love him, well, because the ladies love him. Until recently, this paragraph would have thoroughly summarized all that is Pickle.

Then, Joel and I found out there is much more to Pickle than we ever could have imagined. See, we can't be around at all times to keep an eye on him. We always assumed he just lounged around the apartment all day, napping and licking his nether-regions. We couldn't have been more wrong.

The truth: My dog, Pickle, is an insufferable, conniving, degenerate, spiteful, gambling-drinking-sex-drug-thrill-addicted jerk.

This blog is a catalog of the photographic evidence of Pickle's path of destruction. If you have a dog who is similarly wreaking havoc on the world like a canine Charlie Sheen freebasing cocaine, please send us your photos, and know that you're not alone.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The F Word

By now we're all tired of hearing about Kobe's "fucking faggot" remark toward a ref after a call he didn't agree with.  Some people are offended, most don't care.  Personally, I thought South Park already ruled on this matter.  If you haven't seen the episode, do your self a favor and watch it:  In the episode, the people of South Park, US Senate, and Merriam-Webster come to the conclusion that definition of the word fag is outdated.  It is no longer a gay slur.  The new definition is as follows:
Fag (făg) n.
1. An extremely annoying, inconsiderate person most commonly associated with Harley riders.
2. A loud and obnoxious person who owns or frequently rides a Harley. 
Apparently David Stern hasn't seen the episode and thus is not privy to this information.  He felt the need to make an example out of Kobe.  The weird thing is, I started noticing Pickle mysteriously disappearing whenever the Lakers were playing.  I later saw this picture and figured out what was going on.  Stern hired Pickle as the NBA's enforcer of its stance against f word usage.  Pickle is instructed to escort Kobe to the locker room and "teach him a lesson" if he utters another gay slur.

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