My Dog, The Jerk

Hi, I'm Corey, and this is my roommate, Joel. Say hi, Joel. Hi. I have a dog, Pickle, a 3 year old Shiba Inu. For the past 3 years, I've been struggling with Pickle's various (and numerous) quirks - basically, he's an undersocialized, panophobic spaz with ADD, OCD and ED (he's neutered, after all). The ladies love him because he's perhaps the least threatening dog ever. Guys love him, well, because the ladies love him. Until recently, this paragraph would have thoroughly summarized all that is Pickle.

Then, Joel and I found out there is much more to Pickle than we ever could have imagined. See, we can't be around at all times to keep an eye on him. We always assumed he just lounged around the apartment all day, napping and licking his nether-regions. We couldn't have been more wrong.

The truth: My dog, Pickle, is an insufferable, conniving, degenerate, spiteful, gambling-drinking-sex-drug-thrill-addicted jerk.

This blog is a catalog of the photographic evidence of Pickle's path of destruction. If you have a dog who is similarly wreaking havoc on the world like a canine Charlie Sheen freebasing cocaine, please send us your photos, and know that you're not alone.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Michele Bachmann Found Dead in Her Trailer

I just found this article on the AP site.  Either Pickle is taking his run for the presidency pretty seriously, or he just really hates Michele Bachmann.  Watch out America, Pickle is locking shit down!

Sep 21, 6:25 PM EDT
Michele Bachmann Found Dead in Her Trailer
Associated Press

ST. CLOUD, MN - Michele Bachmann was found dead in her dirty double-wide just outside of Minneapolis this evening.  More shocking than her actual death is the appalling filth this high caliber politician was found in.  According to the coroner, Bachmann had been deceased quite sometime before police were contacted.  Neighbors that were interviewed had no idea any foul play had occurred.  Apparently the constant smell of trash and feces emanating from the trailer masked the smell of rotting flesh.  A neighbor asked to give a statement had this to say, "I ain't had no idea she was dead in there.  Tell ya the truth, if I find the s.o.b. that did this I'ma slit his damn throat.  Tea Party for life!"

There was obviously quite a struggle in the trailer.  Bachmann is littered with cuts and bruises.  The ultimate cause of death is thought to be a laceration to her jugular vein. Its quite a peculiar crime scene.  The coroner says "Its as though she was mauled by a wolverine or something.  At this point, there are more questions than answers."  Things are getting weird up here in Minnesota, folks.  We'll have more on this story as details become available.

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