My Dog, The Jerk

Hi, I'm Corey, and this is my roommate, Joel. Say hi, Joel. Hi. I have a dog, Pickle, a 3 year old Shiba Inu. For the past 3 years, I've been struggling with Pickle's various (and numerous) quirks - basically, he's an undersocialized, panophobic spaz with ADD, OCD and ED (he's neutered, after all). The ladies love him because he's perhaps the least threatening dog ever. Guys love him, well, because the ladies love him. Until recently, this paragraph would have thoroughly summarized all that is Pickle.

Then, Joel and I found out there is much more to Pickle than we ever could have imagined. See, we can't be around at all times to keep an eye on him. We always assumed he just lounged around the apartment all day, napping and licking his nether-regions. We couldn't have been more wrong.

The truth: My dog, Pickle, is an insufferable, conniving, degenerate, spiteful, gambling-drinking-sex-drug-thrill-addicted jerk.

This blog is a catalog of the photographic evidence of Pickle's path of destruction. If you have a dog who is similarly wreaking havoc on the world like a canine Charlie Sheen freebasing cocaine, please send us your photos, and know that you're not alone.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Meet Stella, My Main Bitch

 

Stella's mom sent this pic to us.  She claims Stella sustained these injuries after she learned how to roll the car window down and jumped out...right.  That's a cute story from a delusional parent.  Stella and I both know what really happened.  It was a pretty common accident, really.  I got home late last night after visiting my buddy Herman Cain.  I'd been drinking on the way home so I decided to text Stella for a booty call.  Of course, she obliged.  

We decided we wanted to get a little crazy so we ended up taking some acid...and a little angel dust.  I started getting really hungry so after Stella morphed into a big pink bunny I thought, mmmmmm looks delicious.  I came to after a couple bites when I realized it tasted nothing like sweet, succulent rabbit.  It was an honest mistake.  By the way Stella, I've always been a sucker for the cone look.  Hit me up.


Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)