Stella's mom sent this pic to us. She claims Stella sustained these injuries after she learned how to roll the car window down and jumped out...right. That's a cute story from a delusional parent. Stella and I both know what really happened. It was a pretty common accident, really. I got home late last night after visiting my buddy Herman Cain. I'd been drinking on the way home so I decided to text Stella for a booty call. Of course, she obliged.
We decided we wanted to get a little crazy so we ended up taking some acid...and a little angel dust. I started getting really hungry so after Stella morphed into a big pink bunny I thought, mmmmmm looks delicious. I came to after a couple bites when I realized it tasted nothing like sweet, succulent rabbit. It was an honest mistake. By the way Stella, I've always been a sucker for the cone look. Hit me up.